Although my mother had the VHS tape, not the record, it featured the same photo of Jane Fonda on the cover.

As I’ve been attempting to exercise consistently lately, today I decided to dust off one of my own, more contemporary, home exercise DVD’s and give it a whirl.  Normally, I’m not into home exercise videos.  As a child I was enthralled with them.  I thought the television trainers were intriguing with their perfectly coiffed 80′s hair, brightly colored outfits and flexible bodies that seemed to bend every which way.  I would stand behind my mom and try to do the exercises with her, all the while wishing I was as glamorous and beautiful as the ladies on the television screen.  Now, however, when I try to follow along with a home workout DVD all I can think about is how much I loathe the skinny Barbie hopping around in front of me barking out orders!

Nevertheless, I decided to have a go at it.  I selected a home workout video from my scant collection and slid it into the DVD player.  Denise Austin, a peppy blond whose favorite slogan is “train like an athlete”, soon materialized on the screen.  Hair pulled back and wearing a fitted tank top and tight spandex pants, Denise was already hopping around, happily anticipating the upcoming “Boot Camp – Total Body Blast” workout.  Surrounded by her buff exercise posse she looked even more impressive.

I gave myself a once over.  I was standing in the middle of my living room, alone except for one curious cat perched on the arm of the nearby sofa.  I was wearing glasses (I can’t put in my usual contacts this week thanks to an upcoming eye appointment), baggy sweatpants that are at least eight years old with a hole in the crotch, and an oversized t-shirt featuring cartoon cats striking various yoga poses.  Sweet.  I was clearly off to an excellent start.

Much to my chagrin, after five minutes of strenuous activity I learned that the “warm up” had just ended.  Having expended a great deal of energy to keep up with the fast paced moves of Denise Austin I was already glistening.  I paused the DVD, plopped down on the unoccupied arm of the sofa, and took a few sips of water.  I am SO out of shape.

Determined to at least finish twenty minutes of the video I got back into position and pushed play.  I would like to report that the next half an hour flew by as I got into the groove and that I had fun blasting fat with Denise Austin, but, that’s not exactly how it went.  After about fifteen more minutes I was panting like a dog and practically tripping over my own feet.  Plus, I was getting pissed that my rendition of the exercise moves looked nothing like Denise Austin’s.  Whenever she kicked a leg up in the air or shuffled side to side she looked graceful, powerful and even somehow attractive.  I kicked up my leg and I looked like a deranged donkey.  I just pray the neighbors didn’t see me through the windows.

Well, I made it through about twenty-five minutes of the workout video before I pooped out.  Even though I was sweating, gasping for air and dead tired – which is, I suppose, the point of working out – I can’t say it’s my favorite exercise method.  If I’m going to expend all this energy busting my butt I want to feel good about it afterward, not guilty for harboring a secret desire for Denise Austin to trip over one of her gorgeous, muscled up sidekicks and break her leg (let’s see how well she can “train like an athlete” with a cast on her foot…muahaha!)

Although I’ll probably do the exercise DVD’s from time to time, for the most part, I think I’ll stick to the gym.

Beginning My Blogging Adventure!

I live in a city that is featured more frequently on “top ten worst places” lists than any other city in the U.S. except for perhaps Detroit:  Cleveland, Ohio.  When I graduated from Wellesley College in 2005 everything seemed picture perfect.  I was an empowered young mover and shaker of twenty-two and I had been offered a prestigious government job in D.C.  Then, for reasons that still boggle my mind today, one year into my cushy government job I decided to embark on one of the most masochistic endeavors mankind has ever devised:  law school.

For three years I busted by behind to make the grades that would guarantee me the legal job of my dreams only to find myself in the middle of the worst economic downturn in decades.  In May, 2009 I graduated from law school cum laude, but the blood bath in the legal market has not subsided.  So here I am, a Juris Doctor with no job.

For months I wallowed in self pity while I studied for the bar and applied for every law job that came under my nose.  I cried, I ate my feelings, and I cursed the heavens.  Oh why, sweet baby Jesus, why me?!  Then, something miraculous happened.  For once, I listened to my mother.  One day while I was complaining to her over the phone about my rotten luck she made an excellent point.  “Angela,” she said, “you don’t have it so bad!  You’ve got money in the bank [meager as it is, it is thanks entirely to my hard working husband], you’ve got your health, and – let’s face it – this is the last bit of down time you’re probably going to have until you retire.”

I realize my situation is not unique.  There are scores of unemployed recent law school graduates and even seasoned lawyers who are looking for work, and many, many people have got it worse than me.   But instead of  speeding the advent of the oh-so-inevitable ulcer by stressing out endlessly about my unemployed state, I have decided to embrace my joblessness.  I’m still looking for work, but in the meantime I have decided to do all of the things that I always wanted to do, but was always too busy to actually do while I was working or going to school.  This blog contains an account of the various diversions, tribulations and adventures that fill my unemployed days.